I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize