Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
