what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
