thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
