I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
