my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Randomize
