Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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