A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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