You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
