Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
