just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
