I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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