I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
They have beer where we have blood.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
