We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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