He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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