i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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