what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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