Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize