i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She bit a glass in half.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I could fuck to npr.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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