so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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