so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
