well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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