I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
