are you still at the devil's house?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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