idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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