But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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