Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize