Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize