Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
