maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
