dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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