I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I fill condoms, not promises.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
