we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
