you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
