Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
