Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
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