Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
