After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
