Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize