I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
