tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize