haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize