do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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