Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Operation Purity has been aborted
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I will pee on everything he values.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
