i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
