meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
