he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
