70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize