why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
