I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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