well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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