How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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