Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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