Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
