my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
