After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
