If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Houston, we have a squirter
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
