Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize