I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
