you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
