Is it normal to miss your booty call?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
