dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.