How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Tornado booty call.. dedication
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.