Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Randomize
Follow @tfln