OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
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Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
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You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?