omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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