Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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