i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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